13  Commandments For Successful Polyfidelety


I suppose  I should define what I  mean by “Polyfidelety,” for  those visiting who have never  heard of the concept.   “Polyfidelety” is the  higher form of “Polyamory” or “loving more.” It’s  a group marriage, of more than one husband and/or more  than one wife and like a marriage it is exclusive — members agree to not have sexual relations outside the group. Unlike a marriage, it is open — new members may be recruited and marry into the group, with the consensus of  the group.  The word was coined by members of the Kerista  Commune, which existed in San Francisco in  the late 1970s and early ’80s.  I am of the understanding that a part of that group  now lives in Hawaii, but I cannot confirm that.

I’ve come by these rules the hard way, having been part  of a triad that failed.   I  hope  to  be part  of  a polyfideltous group again someday.  Next time  I will know better:

  1.  Treat one another with respect.
  2.  Don’t try to change one another.  Love  one another just the way  you are.
  3. Love one another unconditionally.
  4. Trust one another unconditionally.
  5. Believe in one another unconditionally.
  6. Treat one another as equals.
  7. Dump your ideas about gender roles.
  8. Dump  your  jealousy.
  9. Give freely of yourself and of your resources: “From each according to their abilities, to each according to their
    needs.”
     Expect to give  away everything,  and receive  everything in return.
  10. Never compare one another.
  11. Don’t gossip, don’t tell tales.
  12. Express yourself freely.

(Well I couldn’t stop  with 10 could I?)

My vision for the ideal Polyfideletous Pagan intentional community is right  HERE.  There are also a few links there for other poly sites.