I suppose I should define what I mean by “Polyfidelety,” for those visiting who have never heard of the concept. “Polyfidelety” is the higher form of “Polyamory” or “loving more.” It’s a group marriage, of more than one husband and/or more than one wife and like a marriage it is exclusive — members agree to not have sexual relations outside the group. Unlike a marriage, it is open — new members may be recruited and marry into the group, with the consensus of the group. The word was coined by members of the Kerista Commune, which existed in San Francisco in the late 1970s and early ’80s. I am of the understanding that a part of that group now lives in Hawaii, but I cannot confirm that.
I’ve come by these rules the hard way, having been part of a triad that failed. I hope to be part of a polyfideltous group again someday. Next time I will know better:
- Treat one another with respect.
- Don’t try to change one another. Love one another just the way you are.
- Love one another unconditionally.
- Trust one another unconditionally.
- Believe in one another unconditionally.
- Treat one another as equals.
- Dump your ideas about gender roles.
- Dump your jealousy.
- Give freely of yourself and of your resources: “From each according to their abilities, to each according to their
needs.” Expect to give away everything, and receive everything in return.
- Never compare one another.
- Don’t gossip, don’t tell tales.
- Express yourself freely.
(Well I couldn’t stop with 10 could I?)
My vision for the ideal Polyfideletous Pagan intentional community is right HERE. There are also a few links there for other poly sites.