Why I Am NOT a Christian (Part 2)

Dear Christian friend:

I appreciate your intentions in trying to get me saved. Sorry, but I’ve been there already. I’ve done that.
First off, I was raised in the Catholic Church, but shortly after my 18th birthday, I prayed the “sinners prayer” and asked Jesus to be my Lord and Savior. I went to church, and a few years later, I was baptized in the Kankakee River. For about the next 12 years, give or take, I made it my business to read the Old and New Testaments through, 3 times each year, and in as many versions as were available back then (side note: my favorite, even today, was “The Jerusalem Bible”). BECAUSE I read and studied the Bible, I believe what I do today (but that would be for the long answer). So you see, you are approaching me from the wrong angle.
Also there are two problems: Calvinism says that I am saved even though I no longer believe (“For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, SHALL BE ABLE TO SEPARATE US from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38 “My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father’s hand.” John 10:29).
 The other problem is that I have probably committed the unpardonable sin. I have denied the Ruach HaKodesh many, many times. In fact, I have lately come to the conclusion (again, based upon my reading of the scriptures) that the Satan spoken of therein is in fact Jesus’ “father.” In the course of the stories presented (especially) in the Old Testament, He exhibits every loathsome characteristic attributed to Satan (and just saying that I probably means that I’ve just done it again!) So on the one hand I am saved, but on the other hand I’ve thrown it away, so to speak, and can’t be saved. Either way you’re probably wasting your time with me. But, I appreciate what you’re trying to do. I have cancer, you have the cure, or so you think.
This video points out the similarities between Jesus, and the many Sun Gods worshiped in the middle east, most 1,000s or years prior to the alleged birth of Jesus:
This guy points out some interesting details: http://www.nobeliefs.com/DarkBible/darkbible6.htm
This one lists atrocities committed by God as detailed in the Old Testament:http://www.infidels.org/library/modern/donald_morgan/atrocity.html (actually the entire site has illustrated numerous problems with the Bible).

This video is from The West Wing, where President Bartlett confronts a personification of Dr. Laura:

I could go on, but I leave you with this: